|
|
|
A Cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West. The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great ambition. 'Do you think you could give me some tips?' he asked.
The old man looked him up and down and said, 'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'
'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man. 'Sure will,' replied the old-timer.
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.
'That's terrific!' said the hot shot. 'Got any more tips for me?' 'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw'.
'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the younger man. 'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cuff link off the piano player.
'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy 'I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?'
The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it.' The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.
'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all.'
'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the young man. 'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much.
A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predator, the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution.
What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males castrated and let loose again and the population would be controlled. This was ACTUALLY proposed to the Wyoming Wool and Sheep Grower's Association by the Sierra Club and the USFS.
All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes. Finally, an old boy in the back stood up, tipped his hat back and said,
"Son, I don't think you understand the problem. Those coyotes ain't f***in' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em."
Air Force
the part of a country's military organization that uses planes to fight
Marine
a soldier who serves on a ship, especially a member of the Royal Marines or the US Marine Corps
Navy
the part of a country's military forces that fights at sea
Army
the part of a country's military force that is trained to fight on land.
Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.
Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines.
The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke."
"No problem," said the Soldier, "I'll get it for you."
While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier's shoe and spat in it. When the Soldier returned with the coke, the Marine in the middle seat said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."
Again, the Soldier obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Marine picked up the soldier's other shoe and spat in it. The Soldier returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the short flight to Houston.
As the plane was landing, the Soldier slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
"How long must this go on?" the Soldier asked.
"This fighting between our services? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"
The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem.
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants
[ Click here to read more ]
Mr.Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck. I have great news. I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody
[ Click here to read more ]
More Posts
194 Posts dating from December 2007
Email Subscription
Receive e-mail notifications of new posts on this blog:
|
|
|
Anne Tootill
Add Comments
Read More
Comments (1)
