Anne TootillPlease Slow Down
February 28th 2008 21:20
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Funny Stuff - February 2008
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Nair
February 28th 2008 21:01
My neighbor found out that her dog could hardly hear, so she took it to
the vet. He found out that the problem was hair in its ears
so he cleaned both of its ears out and the dog could hear fine.
The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she
should go to the chemist and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in
its ears once a month.
The lady goes to the chemist and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At
the register the chemist tells her, "If you're going to use this under
your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady says, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The chemist says, "Oh. Well, if you're using it on your legs, don't
shave for a couple of days."
The lady says "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know,
I'm using it on my schnauzer."
The chemist says, "Stay off your bicycle for a while."
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Five Pigs in a Station Wagon
February 27th 2008 21:04
A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take
them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another farmer
who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the
pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmer's lived sixty miles apart.
So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, and find a field in which to
let the pigs mate.
The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the only vehicle he had, and drove the thirty miles.
While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer,"How will I know if they are pregnant?"
The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass in the morning,
they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not."
The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again.
This continued each morning for more than a week. The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife "Can you please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass?"
"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them
is honking the horn."
them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another farmer
who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the
pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmer's lived sixty miles apart.
So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, and find a field in which to
let the pigs mate.
The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the only vehicle he had, and drove the thirty miles.
While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer,"How will I know if they are pregnant?"
The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass in the morning,
they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not."
The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again.
This continued each morning for more than a week. The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife "Can you please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass?"
"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them
is honking the horn."
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The Nudist Colony
February 26th 2008 20:31
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Time for a Limmerick
February 25th 2008 21:54
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Peeing in the Bushes
February 24th 2008 10:25
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Bones of First Politician
February 23rd 2008 01:56
An archeological team, digging in Washington DC has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Politician.
[ Click here to read more ]
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Two Storey Outhouse
February 22nd 2008 07:59
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Choosing the Right Applicant
February 22nd 2008 07:56
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Mechanics and Surgeons
February 15th 2008 08:35
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The Park Band
February 14th 2008 22:02
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Oh no!
February 13th 2008 05:38
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ALCOHOROSCOPES
February 11th 2008 06:06
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Cheeky Monkey
February 10th 2008 08:05
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American Politics
February 8th 2008 23:17
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KY Jelly
February 7th 2008 21:02
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Learning to Drive
February 6th 2008 22:39
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Four Times Married
February 6th 2008 20:43
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married — for the fourth time.
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation. ‘He’s a funeral director,’ she answered[ Click here to read more ]
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation. ‘He’s a funeral director,’ she answered
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Amish Father and Son
February 6th 2008 20:36
An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this, Father[ Click here to read more ]
The boy asked, "What is this, Father
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Qlueensland Country Petrol Station
February 5th 2008 22:36
A petrol station in country Queensland was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."
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New US Government Seal
February 5th 2008 20:41
Official Announcement:
The federal government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed
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The Gynecologist's Assistant
February 5th 2008 20:30
A young man goes into the Job Centre in Sydney and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist’s Assistant. Interested, he goes to learn more.
‘Can you give me some more details about this?’ he asks the guy behind the desk[ Click here to read more ]
‘Can you give me some more details about this?’ he asks the guy behind the desk
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The Saudi Couple
February 4th 2008 23:13
A Saudi couple, Ahmed and Layla, preparing for their wedding, meet with their Mullah for counselling. The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
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Sex Before Marriage
February 4th 2008 22:12
Two clergymen were discussing the present sorry state of sexual morality
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The Sensitive Man
February 4th 2008 21:57
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Temptation of the Elderly Couple
February 4th 2008 00:23
A elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman’s doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time.
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The Humble Potato
February 3rd 2008 05:30
One day girl and boy potato had eyes for each other and finally got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam.'
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life[ Click here to read more ]
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life
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The Man from Yorkshire
February 2nd 2008 22:00
Two London businessmen were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store.
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling[ Click here to read more ]
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling
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Winter in America
February 2nd 2008 21:32
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OJ Simpson
February 2nd 2008 21:26
One day in the future, OJ Simpson has a heart-attack and dies.
He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him[ Click here to read more ]
He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him
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Aussie Summer Poem
February 2nd 2008 02:57
I found this beautiful Aussie Summer poem and thought it might be a comfort to you, it's very well written; I hope you enjoy it because it's the best piece of English literature I've seen in quite a while....
'An Aussie Summer[ Click here to read more ]
'An Aussie Summer
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