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Rent for Apartment

July 2nd 2008 21:32
A married businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with her for $500.

He spends the night with her but before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'

On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a check for $250 instead of the agreed $500 and enclosed the following typed note:


Dear Madam:

Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your

apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I
rented the apartment, I was under the impression that;

it had never been occupied;

that there was plenty of heat; and

that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

However, I found out that it had been previously occupied,

That there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:

Dear Sir,

First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.

As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.

Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlady.

Send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady.





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Van Gough's Relatives

June 28th 2008 01:02







His obnoxious brother: Please Gogh

His dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh

The brother who ate prunes: Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store: Stopn Gogh

The grandfather from Yugoslavia: U Gogh

His magician uncle: Wherediddy Gogh


Mexican cousin: Amee Gogh

The Mexican cousin's American half brother: Grin Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach: Wellsfar Gogh

The constipated uncle: Cant Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt: Tang Gogh

His nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh

The fruit loving cousin: Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking: Wayto Gogh

The little bouncy nephew: Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco: Go Gogh

And his niece who travels the country in a van: Winnie Bay Gough




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The Tree Hugger from Texas

June 26th 2008 21:12


A woman from Austin, who was a tree hugger and anti-hunter, purchased several acres of Hill Country land, near Lake Travis, Texas.

There was a huge tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to view the natural splendor of her land, so she climbed the tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl. It attacked her! In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground. The ensuing fall incurred several splinters of wood in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor, 35 minutes away. She told him she was an environmentalist and anti-hunter and how she came to receive all of the splinters.

The doctor listened to her story with great patience. He then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help. The impatient patient sat, and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry woman demanded, 'What took you so long?'

He smiled and said, 'Well, I had to get permits from the EPA, Texas Parks and Wildlife and Keep Texas Beautiful before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area.

I'm sorry, but they turned me down.


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Older Employees

June 24th 2008 22:39
26
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The Archeologist

June 17th 2008 21:57
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Brown and Bush Homeboy Handshake

June 16th 2008 23:50
26
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Geography and Women

June 16th 2008 22:55
27
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London Lawyer and The Glasgow Cop

June 11th 2008 23:39
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.

He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense


[ Click here to read more ]
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The Della Family

June 10th 2008 23:10
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The Vet Specialising in Cats

June 4th 2008 21:38
One Sunday the Pastor was counting the weekly offering and found a pink envelope containing $1000. It happened again the next week.

The following Sunday he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the Pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her


[ Click here to read more ]
29
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Jimmy the Painter

June 3rd 2008 21:31
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Move over Orange County Choppers

June 2nd 2008 05:10


This one takes first prize


[ Click here to read more ]
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Twelve New Priests

May 29th 2008 21:44
Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.


[ Click here to read more ]
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