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test2 - Funny Stuff

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His obnoxious brother: Please Gogh

His dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh

The brother who ate prunes: Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store: Stopn Gogh

The grandfather from Yugoslavia: U Gogh

His magician uncle: Wherediddy Gogh

Mexican cousin: Amee Gogh

The Mexican cousin's American half brother: Grin Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach: Wellsfar Gogh

The constipated uncle: Cant Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt: Tang Gogh

His nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh

The fruit loving cousin: Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking: Wayto Gogh

The little bouncy nephew: Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco: Go Gogh

And his niece who travels the country in a van: Winnie Bay Gough

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The Tree Hugger from Texas

June 26th 2008 21:12

A woman from Austin, who was a tree hugger and anti-hunter, purchased several acres of Hill Country land, near Lake Travis, Texas.

There was a huge tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to view the natural splendor of her land, so she climbed the tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl. It attacked her! In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground. The ensuing fall incurred several splinters of wood in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor, 35 minutes away. She told him she was an environmentalist and anti-hunter and how she came to receive all of the splinters.

The doctor listened to her story with great patience. He then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help. The impatient patient sat, and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry woman demanded, 'What took you so long?'

He smiled and said, 'Well, I had to get permits from the EPA, Texas Parks and Wildlife and Keep Texas Beautiful before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area.

I'm sorry, but they turned me down.

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Older Employees

June 24th 2008 22:39

Dear older employee:

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.

Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the next fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately. This program will be known as S.L.A.P. (Severance of Late-Aged Personnel).

Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place.

This review phase of the program will be called S.C.R.E.W. (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Elderly Workers).

All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management. This appeal is called S.H.A.F.T. (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).

Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate. If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get HE.R.P.E.S. (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump Sum Assistance Payment).

As H.E.R.P.E.S. and C.L.A.P. are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received H.E.R.P.E.S or alternatively, C.L.A.P. will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.

Thank you for all your years of loyal service with us.

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The Archeologist

June 17th 2008 21:57

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Brown and Bush Homeboy Handshake

June 16th 2008 23:50

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Geography and Women

June 16th 2008 22:55

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Something John Wayne would have said

June 13th 2008 00:58

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London Lawyer and The Glasgow Cop

June 11th 2008 23:39

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.

He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense

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The Della Family

June 10th 2008 23:10

Cartoon by Warren

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The Vet Specialising in Cats

June 4th 2008 21:38

One Sunday the Pastor was counting the weekly offering and found a pink envelope containing $1000. It happened again the next week.

The following Sunday he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the Pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her

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Jimmy the Painter

June 3rd 2008 21:31

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Move over Orange County Choppers

June 2nd 2008 05:10

This one takes first prize

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Twelve New Priests

May 29th 2008 21:44

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

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